Honoring Our Fathers

Honoring Our Fathers Arnel Cartoneros 5 of 5
" On the occasion of celebrating Father's Day"- Malou Tiangco " A father who will encourage his children in p...
Honor Our Fathers
" On the occasion of celebrating Father's Day"- Malou Tiangco

" A father who will encourage his children in pursuing as many of their goals as possible, and who will get on his kids' bandwagon in such a fashion can make a crucial difference in their lives."- Alan Loy McGinnis  

It is three o’clock in the morning, the phone rang:
“ You listen to this piece of Mozart’s Symphony No. 13, do you like it, is it not so beautiful?”… or
“ Listen to this line of Alvin Toffler’s Future Shock:  …if over-stimulation at the sensory level increases the distortion with which we perceive reality, cognitive over-stimulation interferes with our ability to “ think”.”

So it was either a piece of music or an article from a  book that was the intent of calling…unmindful of time, spontaneous sharing of an instantaneous passion.

Sometimes when I received those “unholy calls” and I was working on something very cerebral or when I had bad moods, I’d be peeved, but would listen, out of courtesy and respect for the efforts made, the intentions I knew was always good, to share something that uplifts the soul and wisdom.
And consistent to the finesse of the character of the caller, the parting statement would always be:
“ I hope you liked what I shared and I am sorry if I disturbed you, good mornight”.
There are no more calls now in the wee hours of dawn in the last five years, the caller has passed on the other journeys of one’s life cycle. 

I miss the music I’d listen to over the phone that soothes my soul and the lines read that expands my imaginations… but what I miss most is the gentle and loving voice of the caller, my father, my Tatay.
It has been five years since my father died and I thought then that as time passes the grieving that I would feel for losing him would diminish,  that in time the intensity of missing him and wishing that he’d be around will come to pass.  It is not happening that way, in fact,  the longer the time he has not been  around, the more vivid I remember our happy times together, and there would be times when I will feel so much for him and feel my cheeks wet of  tears.  Thanks to my clinical academic training in my masteral studies I watch myself not falling into depression and remind myself of some cognitive method of therapy consoling myself that my Tatay was no longer suffering from the pains of short oxygen supplies in his lungs due to his emphysema.

I was separated from my nuclear family when I was  nine years old, tried to live with them when I came to Davao when I was sixteen years old, but got so used not having a family I stayed with them for only five months, then I looked for a work , supported myself to college and lived  independently.  .  And the person that I thought then that was responsible in all the anger, sadness, and antipathy consuming me in my growing years  was my father because there was a time in the past when he abandoned us that led to the distribution of some of  their broods to the relatives of my mother in Manila.

Anyway, my father had his periods of reckoning for all his carnal weakness and started to build again the family that became dysfunctional for a while.  During those times, I have matured and understood better facts of life, I started not really loving my father but I was no longer angry at him and started noticing some fine qualities in him like his being soft, kind, and careful in his words, his thoughtfulness like sending of cards on birthdays,Christmas, Valentine’s. Easter, and Mother’s day.  He will be offering a treat of lunch or dinner in fine restaurants, and  gifting what the receiver wants and not what he wants to give.

Slowly and surely, I started to admire my father, his intelligence, his love for books as he was a voracious reader, and his deep spirituality seen and heard in the classical music he loved most, his wisdom, and exuding sense of confidence and competence.  I started to identify with him in his taste for music, knowledge, wisdom and attitudes in life. 

In due time, I started feeling proud that he was my father, I felt I cared for and loved him that although we began the getting- to- know- each- other a bit late , the growing bond that developed between us was something beyond the quantitative parameters of time and space!  And what is most beautiful I felt that he genuinely loved me and my son…he provided me an emotional anchorage that is the best legacy that parents can give to their children.

No more cards, no more calls, only good memories of the father I had who became one of my best friends, my Tatay.

Salamat, I miss you and I love you.
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About Arnel Cartoneros

Arnel is a Blog creator and writer, A founder and publisher of www.combinebasic.com and www.nuggetro.info. Part time Computer Instructor, Computer And Electronic Technician, And performing job as Biomedical Machine Specialist. I'm an avid fan of social media and very interested in Technical information and innovation.